How To Love
by she lives in a daydream
Summary: She lives in the limelight, and he lives shadows. Her job is to entertain and entertain well. His job is to protect and serve, but it's a little hard to do that when you've fallen for her, the prime suspect to your investigation.
1. Fever

_Okay... I've already decided that I shouldn't be doing another story, but too damn bad, because I am. This was originally a couple of oneshots, but I complied them all together and thus, made the story. Plus I have an obsession with Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. Please, don't judge me. ):_

_I've also been toying around with an idea like this for quite some time. It was first going to be an abuse story, but that was made into my Mortal Instruments story, 'She Is The Sunlight'. Instead, it turned into ... this. Okay, yeah, I need to stop watching police procedure shows... but I can't help myself. Really._

_And in case you haven't picked up on it, this is an all human story, set in New York City. (;_

_Dimitri is about thirty-five/six, Rose, Christian, Sydney and Lissa are about twenty-eight, Adrian is about thirty-one and Jill is about twenty-six. Give or take ... that's just the general sense._

_Christ. I really don't know what to say, to be honest. It's kind of pretty self explanatory, I think so. (:_

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><p><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I, Ashleigh, swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The truth? I don't own the characters in _Vampire Academy. _The sexy ass Richelle Mead owns those clever bitches. I don't own any and all song lyrics potentially mentioned in this story. I do, however, own any and all OCs mentioned in this story, plus your soul. Oh, and perhaps Adrian. Don't worry about the screaming coming from my closet. There's nothing there... **No copyright infringement is intended. All rights reserved. ©;**

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><p><strong>How to Love<br>_she lives in a daydream._**

"_Copy that. I'm in the dressing room, so don't try to find me – not like they'll let you pass anyways. Don't fret, boss. There are five of them: Rose, Camille, Sydney, Meredith and Avery. Personally, I think you'll be drawn to Rose. Actually, I know that you'll be drawn to Rose." _There was a snicker on the other line and I rolled my eyes. Obviously, my partner was seeing things that I couldn't. _"One of them – I don't know who – is coming on next, so stop pretending to drink and get yourself a lap dance. You could really use some." _

I snorted as I nursed the drink my hand, not really drinking it. I was on the job; I couldn't drink, because drinking impaired my judgment. And, well, this wasn't the type of alcohol that I preferred. "Yes, because you're the one to talk. Or have you been getting it on with your regular?"

My partner scoffed on the other end of the ear piece. _"I don't like to mix business with pleasure, but it's a damn shame that he's business right now. Regardl- oh, shit, I gotta go. Text me the dets later!" _Her line disconnected from my ear piece, and I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I popped it out of my ear and tucked it into my jeans pocket. Eventually, I sighed.

Most of the time, I loved my job. I enjoyed the people I worked with, especially Jill, who I treated like my younger sister. I enjoyed the nature of my job, as well – that feeling that I would get when I helped someone or the adrenaline from chasing down a criminal … Hell, most of the time, I enjoyed working undercover … But it was undercover jobs like _this _that made my skin crawl.

Having worked in special victims for five years, I knew that most strippers – and prostitutes – had a reason as to why they did the things that they did. Most of the time it was issues from a family, and sometimes, in the case of strippers, it was an easy way to make money when they were low on cash. Every single stripper and prostitute I had come across had _some _type of issue, and deserved treatment for those issues. Therapy really did work wonders.

The sound of upbeat music was enough to bring me out of my thoughts. I didn't recognize the tune, but I knew that it was something overplayed on the radio, given the way that most were reacting. Maybe I should start paying attention to the mainstream music; it'd make going undercover easier. I unraveled my hands from my drink and leaned back in my chair, scanning the whole room.

Nothing was out of the ordinary, expect for the painfully obvious underage men in the room. They weren't my concern right now, the girls were. I ran my fingers through my hair as the curtains were ripped open, revealing a woman with a very curvy figure. The lights were dim, so it was hard to see what she looked like right away. I squinted to see what she looked like under the lights, as she had now come into full view.

And I really wish I hadn't seen her.

She was gorgeous, and even that, that wasn't enough to properly describe the beautiful women on the stage. She had slender legs that went on for miles, only paired with six inch heels that made them look even longer. Her figure was toned to perfection and her breasts were just the right size; not too big, but not too small, either. Her facial structure indicated some European background, and I couldn't tell if her eyes were brown or not in the light. Hell, it wasn't even her body – which was great – that really sparked my interest; it was her hair. It was beautiful, long, curled to perfection, sleek and shiny and such a dark brown it might as well have been back. Really, her hair was the most stunning thing about her.

And her outfit. _Oh dear God, that outfit._

It was a police uniform. I tugged at my shirt collar as I soaked in the uniform she was wearing. Part of it was a black skirt that barely covered her ass, which had a small belt. On the belt loop, there was a pair of obviously fake handcuffs, and on another loop, there was a small radio that connected up to her top. My eyes trailed up from the skirt, looking at her slender stomach, up to the top. I think I was at when I looked at the top that I truly lost it. It was a light blue and only an inch of it was zipped up, showing the whole world her very firm breasts.

It was impossible to see straight.

I clenched the armrest of my chair, biting my tongue. It was painfully obvious that this girl was Rose, the one Jill had mentioned I would be drawn too. Well, no shit I would be – Jill knew I had a thing for a girl in a police uniform and she was really taking the cake. _God dammit, Jill. _

I watched her as she danced to the music, mesmerized by her moves. The things she did with that pole … well, I didn't even know a girl could move her body like that. It was easily the most sexual thing I had seen in my life, and I had my fair share of sexual experiences in my time. But it all ended too quickly; the song ended, she got off the stage and made her way through the crowd. I recognized the look in her eyes; she was looking for her next 'victim'.

Our eyes locked for a brief moment and a devilish smile toyed on her lips. Good, I had completely captivated her interest – that was the goal. She moved forward through the small crowd of people and finally approached me. I leaned back in my chair and pretended to take a sip of my drink.

"Wanna dance, sugar?"

Did I ever. But I couldn't sound like an overexcited school boy – I still had to be somewhat professional about this. Why did Alberta trust me with this case again? Oh, that's right, because I'm the mother fucking champion of keeping my emotions together … Right. I nodded my head as the smile on her face grew wider, revealing her pearly whites. Christ, even her teeth were perfect. Why did she have to be a prostitute?

That was when she started dancing; it was somewhat similar to what she had done with the pole, expect for it didn't appear to be as complicated and, well, there was no pole. After a few moments, she moved over to the point where she was practically straddling me. She placed her hands on my shoulders for support and I was more than willing to let her touch me, even if I shouldn't have been.

"What's your name?"

It took me a moment to process her question; I was so focused on the way she moved her body. I blinked a couple of times and tried to clear my mind before I answered. I was on the verge of giving her my real name, but I couldn't; giving my real name was a bad idea.

"Alexander," I finally said.

"Well, Alexander, it's nice to meet you. I'm Rose," she replied with a husky tone, but I already knew her name. Putting two and two together had been easy for me, thanks to Jill. We lapsed into silence as she continued her dancing against my lap.

It was increasingly getting harder to breathe. Every time Rose moved her hips against my lap, I fought the urge to wince. I had been given lap dances before – what sane guy hadn't? – but they were _nothing _compared to this. Rose was unbelievably beautiful, yes, but there was something more. Something more that I couldn't explain, really. Every time I looked at her, I felt the urge to know more; like I wanted to be the one she shared all of her deepest, darkest, secrets too.

_Case. Case. Case. This is a case, you dumbass,_ I repeated those words in my head over and over as Rose continued to grind her hips against my lap, which only fueled my erection. On a normal day, it took quite a bit for me to become aroused – but Jesus Christ, there was just something about this girl that captivated me. I had known her for all of five minutes, had barely spoken a word to her, and yet … I bit the inside of my lip, not thinking the rest of that thought.

"You know her?" Her voice sounded like an angel singing, but it was enough to bring me out of my thoughts. I raised an eyebrow, a confused look forming on my face. She rolled her eyes and pointed with her thumb over four seats down. "Her. She keeps looking over at you."

My eyes trailed to the person she was talking about, and I almost smirked. Yes, I did know the female that Rose was pointing at. As a matter of fact, that girl was named Jill and she was my partner on the force. Little did Rose know that the young brunette was actually an undercover detective working on busting the prostitution ring. But it wasn't the fact that I knew Jill – or as everyone knew her here, Jailbait; no, it was the fact that she was completely entertaining this young and unsuspecting man – a man I happened to know very well -, who was completely entranced by her moves.

"Nope," I replied, popping the 'p'.

"Huh," she mused. She looked like she was going to say something, but instead closed her mouth, letting her body respond to the music in the most sensual way I had _ever _seen. "Guess she just likes your looks; can't say I blame her. You're pretty sexy," she leaned next to the side of my face, breathing on my neck. "What's your accent? German? Russian?"

I chuckled, but it was strained. "Russian." This perked her interest, which was a usual reaction I got from most women when I told them that I was from Russia – actually, it seemed to work for all Europeans when they told an American girl as to where they were from. Her hips rocked against my body and I was seriously on the verge of snapping right then and there.

A smirk played on her lips as she leaned in closer, brushing her lips against mine. "You wanna go somewhere after this? I get off in five," she breathed as our eyes locked.

Oh, did I want to go somewhere. The things I would do to her beyond closed doors … her naked body pressed up against mine, her tits bouncing up and down as she rode me so hard … I cleared my throat. "Sounds great to me, darling. You got a place? I'm all the way out in Brooklyn." I actually lived in Manhattan, but the Brooklyn story was part of my cover. Plus, she was the one who had to lead me there – I couldn't exactly initiate some of it, because then _I _would be the one breaking the law.

She stopped the swaying her hips. "Yeah. There's a real nice hotel about two places down. I've also just so happen to have a room key for the night," she purred and I fought the urge to smirk again. I knew she was lying; if she was part of the ring, she would have easy access to the room. She placed a hand on my chest. "I'll meet you there in fifteen, sugar. Room 323." Rose removed her body from my lap and I mentally sighed in relief.

It was like a whole weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but the ache in my chest was starting to form. She winked at me as she walked off, her hips swaying in the high heels. Her ass look so damn perfect in that short skirt and the high heels added to it... _Case, you idiot. Case, case, case! God dammit! This is a case! _

It was only my partner's words that snapped me out of my train of thought. She was calling me over to the other side of the bar, where nobody was. I made my way over there and chuckled. "Nice outfit."

Well, it was interesting, to say in the least. She was dressed as school girl, which was supposed to be a 'kick', given her nickname at the bar. Her green eyes glared at me and I sobered up. "Shut up." Her eyes darted around, looking for anyone who would be in earshot. Once she deemed that we were safe, she spoke again. "I just got off… I take it you're heading over to the hotel right now?" I nodded. "Excellent. I already called in Castile; he's stationed in the lounge in the hotel … Not that I expect anything to go astray, but you never really know. Don't get too distracted, partner." She winked as she turned on her heels and I chuckled again.

Jill was a little firecracker in that outfit, and it was hilarious. Adrian – who swore he had never met her – had already dubbed her a 'feisty little firecracker'. Little did Adrian know that he had actually met my partner, on more than one occasion; the man was so oblivious. Jill ducked into what I presumed to be the changing room and I took that as my queue to leave.

I shoved my hands in my pockets as I stepped out of the bar, only to be assaulted by the snow. A smile formed on my lips; I loved snow, although I could have done without the wind. We were supposed to be getting a blizzard tonight, and I believed that as I looked at the clouds. They looked like they were ready to bring hell. Maybe, if I was lucky, I wouldn't have to go to work because we would be snowed in.

I snorted at the thought of that; just because there was a blizzard didn't mean I would get a day off. The only time that happened was when the blizzard was _terrible_. Then again, it might. I contemplated the possibilities as I walked forward to the hotel; this was calming my nerves.

Why the hell was I so nervous?

The connection I had felt towards Rose was unexplainable and I felt the urge to punch something as I thought about having to arrest her. But what the hell was I going to say to Alberta? _Oh, well, I kind of like this girl, so I'm not going to arrest her_? I couldn't do that; by getting Rose, we could bring down the whole ring. Everyone would be livid pissed at me if I lost this case because of her.

I walked through the door and raised an eyebrow. It wasn't terribly dingy, but it wasn't high class, either. I wasn't exactly expecting something in between – prostitutes usually brought someone to the dingiest motel or the most high class hotel, depending on how much they made. I personally believed Rose made a bit more than the hotel called for, but I didn't know for sure. I caught a brief glance of Eddie, but didn't acknowledge him.

Five minutes later, I checked my watch and decided it was the right time to head up. With a heavy sigh and twinge of regret in my heart, I took the elevator to the third floor. My heart was racing as the elevator went up and stopped. The doors open and I could feel my hands shaking. Dammit, if this had been any other girl … Did it really have to be Rose? And more importantly, why the hell was I thinking this?

I did my best to clear my thoughts as I found the room. It was perfectly situated in the middle of the hallway, which I took into consideration – her escape options were small, which meant that she was trusting. _Well, looks like that's about to go down the drain… _I knocked on the door and only waited a few moments before she answered.

_Oh Jesus Christ._

"I'm glad you kept that outfit on," I stated, and it wasn't a lie. But it was going to make it so much harder. She giggled as she grabbed my hand and pulled me through the door before shutting it behind us. I stared at my hand in disbelief; it was like a shock had gone through my hand as soon as we touched.

"I'm glad you like it, sug." She twirled with her hair, which was only adding to her sex appeal. Her other hand found my chest, and she traced light circles in it. "It's gonna be 400 for the night, babe."

That was a bit pricier than I expected, but it didn't matter, because I wasn't actually going to be paying for it. "I've got the money," I grabbed a hand and placed it around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I ran a hand through her hair and realized that this was a lot easier said than done. "What do you do, sweetheart?"

Her eyes were full of lust as she pushed me down to the bed. "I do everything, sug, and I mean _everything_," she breathed into my ear before her lips crashed down on mine.

Her lips were just as soft as I imagined and her touch had me practically withering. She was taking control, and for once, it was a turn on. Rose was straddling me as we continued to kiss. I kissed her back with just as much fury and passion as hers held in mine. My hands found their way into her hair and she fiddled with edge of my shirt. It was only when my hands played with waist line did she flinch away.

"I'll be right back, babe," she said as she rolled off me, and I groaned. Why was she leaving? Suddenly, I was thankful for her decision to go to the bathroom; it allowed my mind to clear from the haze that had settled in. I reached into my coat pocket (which I was somehow still wearing) and pulled out my detective badge. It was small and I could easily clasp it in my hand. My fingers grasped around it tightly as I heard the bathroom door open.

Rose wasted no time getting back to where we had left off. She sat down on my lap and started to roll her hips against my crotch and I hissed. She smiled as she continued her rocking motion back and forth and _Jesus Christ _did it feel good. I cut the distance between us as she went on with the rocking of her hips against my groin. Her lips tasted funny, but I ignored it. It was probably just her lipgloss, anyways.

When we kissed, a fog settled over my mind. I was losing all sense of myself and I needed to get the damn badge out of my hand. Once again, I was thankful that she pulled her lips away from mine, but only to move down to my chest. She continued working her way up and I took this as my window of opportunity; if I didn't do it now, there was no going back.

"How about," I breathed as her teeth grazed my shoulder before moving to my neck. Yeah, I was going to have a serious hickey tomorrow. "How about we go to the shower?"

Rose nipped at my neck before she responded, her gorgeous eyes locking with mine. "What are you? One of those kinky guys?" She scooted closer to me, very well aware of the friction that she was causing. A devious smile played on her lips.

"No," I responded. I unraveled my hand, revealing my badge. "I'm one of these."

Her eyes widened.

"Fuck."

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><p><em>And so it begins ... Dimitri, you've put yourself in a very, very bad spot. <em>


	2. For Your Entertainment

_You guys are amazing! I love you all; I really do. (:_

_Well, here it is, the second chapter. I think I'm going to do a switch of POVs every chapter, switching between Rose and Dimitri. Rose is really entertaining to write, given her state of mind. Oh, with that being said, I have no idea what it feels like to be on cocaine and I was lazy and didn't do any research. However, given how I've presented Rose, I like to feel that her being on a drug isn't all that different than her in real life. xD_

_Ignore any improper words. The first half of this chapter I used for a vocabulary story, so ignore those if they don't properly fit. Haha._

_Oh, is that? I think so. Cool. (:_

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: "For Your Entertainment" <strong>

It was almost impossible to modulate the situation.

Actually, to hell with that, it _was _impossible. Needless to say, I was screwed beyond all belief. _He _was going to be livid pissed. The 'entertainment' was abortive and I almost flinched as I thought about how pissed he'd be. I huffed a sigh as I thought about this; god dammit, there was a thing of coke in the bathroom, too. Not only was I going to face _another _prostitution charge, but a drug possession charge.

Dammit all to hell.

He pulled out handcuffs from his pocket and a smile formed again on my lips. "Oh, sugar, if you wanted handcuffs, you should have just told me. I don't mind handcuffs," I replied with a waggish tone and I was pretty sure I saw him fight the urge to smile. However, he kept his face solid and his eyes blank as motioned for me to get off the bed.

I complied, very well aware of the dictum that was about to come. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as I saw him move off the bed and open the handcuffs. I had been arrested twice before, one for prostitution and one for public intoxication. However, thanks to my great lawyer, I hadn't spent a single second in jail.

Alexander – if that was even his real name, which I obviously doubted now – moved forward and kept his lips pressed together. "Turn around," he began with a contumelious tone. Christ, why was he being so rude? The wheels were turning in my head. I knew that my lovely lawyer could get him for some type of abuse, which would lift the weight off my shoulders…

Oh, I had this in the bag.

He ensconced the handcuffs around my wrists. "You are under arrest on the account of prostitution. You have the right to remain silent; anything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, the state will provide you one. Do you understand your rights?"

I snorted. "Don't insult my intelligence, sug." The hint was obvious and I heard him sigh as he pushed me forward and out the door. I wasn't ashamed to have the handcuffs on my wrist; if anything, it made me proud. I kept my head held high and a smile on my face (something I had learned quite well over the past few years) as Alexander – or whoever the hell he really was – lead me forward.

It was only when he lead me into the lounge did I falter, simply for two reasons.

One was the fact that Jailbait (only recognizable by her curly hair) was there… with a badge around her neck. Somehow, I wasn't surprised. I should have known that Jailbait was part of the force, given how she didn't shut up about certain topics. But it wasn't Jailbait that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was the man standing next to her, and it was a man I knew very well; Edison Castile.

Eddie and I had known each other in high school; hell, we had dated for three out of those four years. Eddie had been one of my closest confidants up until about my second year of college when I started spiraling out of control. I had known that he was an officer, but I didn't realize he was with special victims.

"Eddie," I purred and he stiffened. Apparently he didn't realize I'd be here, too. Funny how that worked out. I tried to move towards him, but my Russian jailer held me back. I wasn't going anywhere. I battled my eyelashes at him. I was trying to vitiate his ground and I was succeeding. "It's been a long time. How are you? You get married to that one girl – oh, the blonde… What was her name? Oh, Mia! You get married to Mia yet?"

His face flushed; he had been cracked.

Mission accomplished.

I turned to Jailbait and I had to do a double take before I really realized it was her. She looked so damn different in her regular clothes, with a cute peacoat jacket, a badge dangling from her neck, blue jeans, and light makeup. She shoved her hands into her pocket as she looked at me.

"I didn't think you had it in you, doll," I honestly told her with a wink.

But unlike Eddie, she didn't back down. She and I didn't share a history and she had nothing left to lose. She moved closer to me; she was a good three inches taller than me, so I had to look up to _her. _Her eyes narrowed and this time, I actually flinched. I _knew _those eyes… I hadn't seen those eyes in eight years.

"My name is Detective Jillian Mastrano. It is not 'Jailbait', 'Sugar', 'Doll', or any other maudlin name you feel the need to call me by. I am not your bitch; you are mine. You will address me by Detective, and nothing else. Got that, sweetheart?"

She was feisty little thing and she couldn't have been any older than twenty-seven. I admired her guts. I flashed her one of my award-winning smiles as our eyes locked.

"Sure thing, _sug_," I replied with a heavy emphasis on 'sug'. I wasn't threatened by her words; they truly meant nothing to me. After some severely traumatic experiences in my life, her words were doing nothing but going one ear and out the other. If anything, she should have had a prescience that I would have replied with what she _didn't _want.

I heard a snort from behind me and realized that it was coming from the man who I had just been in a hotel room with. Jill shot me a death glare and I just kept the smile on my face, no matter how painful it was to look at her.

See, that was the problem. I didn't exactly know Jill … but I knew of her half-sister. He half-sister had been my best friend up until the time I dropped out of college… I hadn't spoken to her since. There were many times that I missed her constantly, but the cocaine helped with that. Hell, most drugs seemed to help with that.

There was an uncomfortable silence, and we all seemed to be standing there. I couldn't fathom as to why we were just standing there, because we should have been doing something – that much I knew. From what I knew, we weren't waiting for anyone else … At least, on my side of the line. We weren't stupid; we spread out around hotels. I was the only one at this current hotel.

"Where's Sage? Shouldn't she be here right now?" Eddie finally spoke up, the flush on his face disappearing with every word. It appeared that he was regaining his confidence; I would have to change that, especially when this 'Sage' person reappeared. Something was going off in my mind – an alarm, if you will – but I ignored it.

"I'm not sure. She should have been here five minutes ago," Alexander replied.

"Y'know, I'm all for show and shit, but this is a little ridiculous," I said after a moment and rolled my eyes. "I get it. It's the walk of shame. Or are you waiting for Sage so we could do an epic orgy? Actually, I'm down with an orgy. I bet this Russian would be a beast in bed." Eddie was turning pink, Jailbait's eyes were flashing with anger, and I turned my head to the left so I could get a better view of the Russian. "What do you say, Comrade? You up for a little bit of some friskiness? I did say that I do _everything_," I purred.

Someone snorted and he took a step back before sighing. "Okay, I don't care; I'm not waiting for Sage. I'm taking her to the station." He put his hand on the small of my back and gave me a shove, which caused me to jump in surprise. His touch was absolutely magnifying and it sent shivers down my body.

"Oh, you wanna do something in the station? Like I said, sugar, I don't mind a show," I wiggled my eyebrows and he rolled his eyes as he pushed me forward again. Apparently, it really was our time to leave. "Bye Eddie! I'd wave at you, but I'm currently in handcuffs. It was great seeing you again. We should catch up sometime, right?"

His face turned beat red and I smirked. Eddie was so easy to break; he was still moldable putty in my hands. I turned towards Jill, who was typing away frantically on her phone. "Bye, sugar. I'll be seeing _you _later." Jill rolled her eyes and I was pretty sure I heard Alexander try to stifle a chuckle.

My Russian jailer said something else, but I was blocking it out by this point. We were nearing the outside… and I was cold. Very cold. I was in very little clothing and it only dawned on me that I had left my regular clothes, plus my coat – and everything else I needed to live – back in the hotel bathroom. I huffed a sigh as he finished up talking and took my handcuffed hands.

It was at that point when someone darted past me and my mouth dropped open. This shit was seriously starting to piss me off. How oblivious could I have been? I would recognize those seven inch, white platform high heels anywhere. They were _mine_ and mine alone. I used them for whenever I paraded around as a nurse … however, a fellow friend of mine had gone with the nurse outfit tonight, and I had allowed her to borrow them.

"Are you fucking kidding me? She's one of you guys, too? _Christ_," I shivered and it wasn't from the cold. My stomach was in knots. _He _was going to be livid pissed. I could only imagine what my girls back home where getting and it caused me to shiver again. For once, I was thankful that it was cold outside, because that's exactly what I could play it off as.

I could easily picture the smirk on my jailer's face. SVU had duped us, and they had duped us good. "Is there anyone else I should know about? Other than Adrian. I know he's not one of you guys. Actually, I know for a fact that he works against you." I snorted at that thought. "Or … or better yet, how about you tell me your name, sug. I only know you as Alexander, and after getting that whole spiel from Jailbait back there, I feel like I have earned the right to learn your proper name, Detective. What do you say? I mean, you already know mine; Rose. Like the flower."

He kept his face void of all emotion as he opened the cruiser car door. "Watch your head. Don't let your cocaine filled mind think that the door is actually a few inches higher than it really is." Was that his attempt at humour? "But then again, I have a feeling you should be incredibly experienced at this, should you not?"

For some odd reason, his words stung. I had no clever remark for him and I felt at loss. First off, I _always _had a comeback, no matter the situation. Second off… what the hell was this guy doing to me? Every time he touched me, nothing mattered but me and him… and his callous choice of words… Did they really have to be so harsh, even if they were the truth?

Instead, all I could do was muster up the meanest glare I could and stare at him as I slid into the patrol car. My glare wasn't working, though – he was a tough cookie to break. I bit the inside of my lip to prevent the tears from forming in my eyes as he slammed the door next to me and slid into the driver's seat. With one glance, he looked in the rear-view me towards me and I smirked.

"You like seeing me behind bars? I know that it's a huge turn on. Come on, sug, it's just you and me… and nobody would have to know… I wouldn't make you pay. It'd be the best damn night of your life, that's for sure."

That's when I saw it; his eyes glaze over with lust. I had seen it previously at the bar and in the hotel room and it just made me wet even look at his eyes. I sucked in a breath as he shook his head slightly in an attempt to clear his mind. He cleared his throat before responding.

"You're not going to get out of being charged, you know that, right? Prostitution is against the law and you've broken that law. This isn't like a ticket – you can't talk – or in your case, sell – your way out of it." If I had to guess, there was the slightest hint of emotion in his voice, and that was strain. I moved around in the back seat, knowing that my constant moving would emphasize my breasts jiggling. I had a lot of practice in this outfit. "Besides, what would that make me, if I just let you slid by?"

I leaned in and pressed my face against the bar. "Then that would make you a very, very, _very _bad Detective," I said in a husky tone and I saw his face tighten. Oh, I lived for double meanings at this point.

We rode back to the station in silence after that. Normally, I believed in chatter – but for once, I was completely content with us not speaking. It allowed my mind to wander into various dirty places, and I could easily imagine his naked body pressed up against me, him filling me with my utmost desire… I was going to have an orgasm just _thinking _about this Russian inside me. Jesus Christ, that hadn't happened to me since I had been a virgin back in high school.

Unfortunately, the ride back to the station was a lot shorter than I would have liked. Within moments, I found him opening the door and a cold gust of air shot through the car. Dammit, it was getting colder by the moment. He sighed as he stood there, waiting impatiently for me to get out. Well, I was just going to take my sweet ass time. Slowly, I stretched out my legs as I scooted forward, and I could only smirk at the obvious strain on his face.

"I really don't have time for this shit, Rose. Either you come out or I'm going to take you out by force. Which one you rather prefer?" I smiled and he cursed in Russian. "Don't answer that."

Regardless of his words, I still took my sweet ass time getting out of the patrol car… But it wasn't as slow and as agonizing as before. As soon as I got out of the car, he grabbed the back of my hands and led me again, clearly indicating that he really didn't have time for this shit.

He led me into the police station and my mind began to spin. Why didn't he just take me to central booking? What did they need me at the station for? Unless… Unless they were going to question me, in order to bring him down… No, I couldn't have that. I kept my head held high and held a swagger with my walk as he pushed us forward, leading me to the tiny jail cell that they held in their office.

"Belikov!" I turned around, a curious look on my face as I looked at the person who had called out the name. It was obvious in the way that he responded that his last name was Belikov and I smiled. One part of the name down; one more to go. But when I put a voice to a face, my body stiffened.

Apparently, everyone I knew was on the force.

God must really hate me.

"Rosie! You look _damn good _in that outfit. I'm really loving how long your legs look, too."

"Good to know that you're enjoying them, Mase. What do you think about the high heels? They're just for you to enjoy, baby doll. Try not to get too distracted from your job while looking at my luscious legs," I responded with flirty smile as Belikov shoved me into the holding cell.

"I'll try not to get too distracted, I promise. But it might be hard. And it's even better that you're in a cell. It's like the ultimate fantasy come true."

I smiled in response. Mason had been my arresting officer on my public intoxication charge, but we shared such similar personalities that we clicked. Apparently, from what I understood, he was Eddie's best friend. I plopped down a seat and took note of how I was the only one in the holding cell at this point. That was a shame – I was hoping that I'd have some company.

Minutes passed and I finally remembered something; I was obviously here for a reason and they just shoved me in here because they didn't know what to do with me. I tapped my heel impatiently, enjoying the way of how the high heel sounded against the cold, hardwood floor.

"Hey Belikov!"

He turned around, his eyes showing heavy annoyance. I continued tapping my heel as he moved closer to the holding cell. I moved closer to him so that our bodies were practically touching. I could smell his chrisp, clean aftershave and _my God_, the scent was absolutely mouthwatering.

"Yes?"

"I want my free-phone call. And when you take me into the integration room, I want my lawyer."

* * *

><p><em>Lolol, oh Rose, you're incredibly amusing at this point.<em>

_And Mason is still alive! I decided he needed to be alive. Just this once._

_Review ... or Mason dies. Like legit dies. D:_


	3. Down

_Okay, so I have no idea if this is has made national news yet... which I doubt, because nobody cares about Alaska. Ha. However, the Western part of Alaska (I'm in the Western area) is getting absolutely decimated by a storm. Half of the coast line is facing serious erosion from the storm, some of the smaller villages might not exist tomorrow, the wind gusts are reaching an easy 100 mph, and the seas are reported to be at 30 feet. On the coast. Needless to say, it's pretty bad._

_Now, as I have lived in Alaska all my life, I'm used to storms. I seriously laugh when people complain about blizzards, because half of the time, they don't even know what an Alaskan blizzard is truly like. I have lived in Unalaska for nine years and that's where things start to get different. You see, Unalaska is right where the Bering Sea meets the Pacific Ocean. Basically, I'm fucked in terms of killer storms. We get hurricanes monthly and go to school in white out conditions with winds at a steady 80 mphs hour. So, in reality, it's not a big deal..._

_And it's this moment that I'm thankful that this storm didn't hit my town. As a matter of fact, Unalaska itself was damn lucky. On our radar, there's a storm below us, and the massive son of a bitch storm right above us. We are seriously on the outer edge of that storm and we're not taking a single hit... But if we did, it'd be terrible. Last year, we had our crane get blown over by wind gusts believed to be at 200 mph. My living room window was smashed during that same storm. With seas that high, our school (which is right by the ocean) would have been severely damaged. Not only would the school be damaged, but the pool (connected to the school), the roads and our rec center would have been damaged..._

_But that's not really my point. My point is that right now, my heart and soul is going out to all my fellow Alaskan's on the western coast line who have to sit through this terrible storm. I've been there... I know exactly what these people are going through. It's not pleasant. You always have that constant fear that something bad is going to happen, such as window breaking or a wall caving in... _

_I just hope that come tomorrow night, everyone in the wake of that storm will be okay._

_Seriously, my heart goes out to all of my fellow Alaskan's who have to face this hell-hole right now_.

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Three: "Down"<strong>_  
><em>

My past three hours had been nothing more than a living hell. It was seriously like God was trying to punish me. Rose looked ever so tempting behind those bars with that tiny outfit and those killer high heels…but I couldn't think like that. I had to keep my mind clean in order for my mind to process.

Which is exactly why I wasn't the one to take her to the integration room. As a matter of fact, that's what Mason did. Apparently, Mason thoroughly enjoyed the banter with Rose. At least he could handle her without his sex need going through the roof. Actually, I take that back – he was probably thinking about having sex with Rose just as much as I was, but he managed to play it off through jokes, given his regular nature.

Rose was sitting in the interrogation room, waiting patiently for her lawyer. And I, being the creeper that I was, was watching her through the one way mirror. If I had to guess, I would say that she knew that I was there – but did nothing to show that.

I was star struck and I knew it. It was becoming impossible to get the thought of her touch out of my mind and I just couldn't understand as to why. She was a perpetrator in a major crime … Didn't I normally hatred towards people in a crime?

"Nice hickey there, boss," Jill smirked. Huh, I hadn't even heard it appear next to me. I glared at her, finding it nice not to stare at Rose, who was starting to look pissed beyond all belief. Jill kept an innocent expression on her face. "What? She did some damage to you; might as well call them what they are." She sighed as her green eyes drifted towards her. "It's a damn shame she's here, though. Rose is a really nice girl when she's not on display … But you know how daddy issues get."

Jill was right; most girls who had 'daddy issues' revolted in a way that they shouldn't. My stomach clenched as I thought about what her daddy issues were; was she molested? Abused? Raped? Or maybe she just didn't get the love she deserved – that was a leading factor into girls turned into prostitutes.

"Ah, Belikov! It's been awhile!" I turned around and blanched as soon as I saw who had spoken. It was Adrian Ivashkov, one of the better defense attorneys out there. Adrian was also the man that Jill had been dancing with at the club, which meant that Jill's cover would be blown _very _shortly. I looked over at my partner, whose face had become covered with a coat of sweat. "I heard what happened to Ivan. It's a damn shame. But, I've also heard that you've gotten quite the fiest- _Jailbait?"_

And her cover was blown.

But good old Jill kept her head held high. "Adrian," she purred, "It's so nice to see you here instead of some dingy club. Surprised? You shouldn't be." Adrian had stopped moving, so Jill took a step forward, pulled her business card out of her pocket, and put a hand on Adrian's chest. "Don't worry, though. This is me taking up your offer from a few hours ago." She stuck her card into the pocket on his shirt and turned on her heels, leaving a very stunned defense attorney in her wake.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips. "Oh, the look on your face is priceless, Ivashkov. But are you really surprised? The fact that I was there and you had seen me talking with Jill didn't make any alarms go off in your head?" Then again, he hadn't known that Jill was my new partner. "Jill really likes you, though – she was really disappointed when you offered to take her back to your place and she couldn't go."

Adrian cleared his throat. "Yeah, well…" He was at a loss for words, which was unusual for him. "Can I talk to my client? Or are you just trying to stall me?"

Oh, so he _was _Rose's lawyer. How the hell could she afford him? I knew that Adrian liked to price high. "Of course you can go and talk to her. The stalling was just an added, and quite hilarious, bonus. She's going to be in the room with us, you know. Oh, this is just going to get so much more entertaining!" And it was. Those two had some obvious sexual tension between them.

"Watch yourself, Belikov," Adrian threatened as he pushed the door open and shut it behind him.

I snorted as he approached Rose, who looked incredibly thankful to see him. When she saw him, she got up and actually _hugged _him … and he hugged her back. Okay, so the two obviously knew each other, and had known each other for a long time. Wasn't that a conflict of interest? Or did that apply to lawyers? And more importantly, where the hell was our DA?

I turned my head at the sound of heels clicking against the floor and saw Jill approach the window, wearing the same confused look on her face as I was. When she looked at me, I merely shrugged.

"I'm not sure. My guess is that they've known each other since high school. I didn't know she knew Eddie, though. I knew about Mason – but Eddie was very surprising. Did you know?" Jill nodded her head as she watched the lawyer and client exchange out of the corner of her eye.

"I knew a little bit. Eddie told me a little bit of it back when we were dating, when we first started the operation. It's why he had to pull out on the undercover aspect. He would have stayed if it hadn't been for Rose; you saw how easily he cracked when she spoke to him…" Jill sighed as she ran her hand through her hair. She opened her mouth to say something, but kept it shut.

It was painfully obvious that Jill knew something that I didn't. However, I knew that if I asked her, she wouldn't tell me. I could already see the answer in my head … _It's not my story to tell_. I crossed my arms across my chest as I watched Adrian and Rose exchange interactions. Rose looked frustrated and Adrian looked somewhat smug. I could only imagine what he was saying to her.

"I swear to God, you two better have a damn good reason for dragging me out of the bed at one in the morning," a voice said behind us and I mentally sighed in relief. At long last, our DA had arrived. Jill and I turned around at the same time and I watched Jill's face pale.

"Well, she lawyered up … And after last time, we decided that it'd be prudent to have you here while we talked to our suspect, dear sister. Besides, it's not like you and Christian weren't up anyways." Jill responded, but there was a heavy strain in her voice. Whatever she knew that I didn't, I would find out very, _very_ soon.

Lissa yawned as she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm not going to answer that. She lawyered up already? I'm surprised. You didn't even talk to her…" She titled her head to the side to get a glimpse of the person in there and then she raised her eyebrows.

"Ivashkov's in there? Isn't that the guy who keeps coming to the club, the one that you're obsessed with?" She turned her attention to Jill, whose face only flushed. "You know you can't do anything with him until the case is over, right?"

It was like a slap in the face, but it was information I knew. Sleeping and having a potential relationship with a suspect was bad; a _very _bad idea. It's not like she was going to be innocent; if Rose was put in front of a jury, she would be convicted. I inhaled a sharp breath as I thought about this. We finally had made a huge break in the case and already, Jill and I were facing grounds for dismissal about it.

"You think I'm stupid? I feel like you becoming pregnant have sort of killed some of your brain cells," Jill responded with a light, joking tone. The two sisters shared one hell of a history, one that I didn't know much of. The blonde frowned as she put her hand on her stomach, which held a very small baby bump. It looked like Jill's words had truly stung Lissa, and I cleared my throat.

"How about we just go in and get this taken care of, so you can go home and go back to bed. Does that sound alright?" Jill's face tightened and Lissa gave a nod as she rubbed her eyes. It was amusing, because up until the time she had found out she was pregnant, she had been more than willing to come in at ungodly hours.

The sisters didn't say anything, and I took this as a sign to go forward. I led the small entourage into the integration room and took my normal spot in the left corner, near the mirror – which was really the one way window. Jill kept moving forward and took her spot across from Rose and Adrian, but Lissa stopped as soon as she got a decent look at the girl sitting in the chair.

It was like the domino effect. Lissa faltered once she got a look at Rose, and Rose faltered as soon as she looked at Lissa. And Adrian … Adrian looked highly uncomfortable about the whole thing. I quirked an eyebrow towards my partner, but she wasn't looking at me.

It was apparent that we were doomed to lose this case from the start.

And so I watched; I watched as the expression flooded Lissa's face and I could see the tears forming in her eyes as she looked at Rose… And Rose looked … well, she looked frightened. As in _truly _frightened. In my mind, I couldn't help but think about how this was complete and utter karma towards Rose, because that's what she got for being a prostitute … but I mentally slapped myself as I thought about those harsh words.

Lissa and Rose shared a history, and a very detailed history at that. Our assistant district attorney sucked in a sharp breath as she took one more look at our suspect. Lissa made a quick decision and turned on her heels before storming out of the room. My partner didn't hesitate and was on her sister's tail within seconds, leaving the door wide open.

There was silence, and Adrian's phone buzzed. He cursed before he pulled his phone out of his pocket and glared at the screen. He ran his hand through his hair and sighed. "I'm sorry, Rose, but I've got to take this call. I'll be back in a few minutes." The lawyer turned his attention to me. "Don't even think about questioning her."

"Wasn't going too," I replied with a roll of my eyes as he slid out of the room. The door slammed shut and I took a calming breath.

It was just Rose and I.

Alone.

In a room.

I clenched my fists together as way to keep me distracted. No, I wasn't going to let my mind wander about the feel of her lips against mine, her body rubbing up against me… Everything she had said in the car… It had been impossible to keep myself in check in that damn patrol car, let alone when we got to the station. Couldn't she have changed, too?

Rose didn't say anything, which I found odd. Given her personality, I was just waiting for the string of sexual innuendos that were bound to come out of her pretty little mouth as soon as everyone was gone. Yet, they didn't come. I was attempting to focus on the weather outside, which was becoming impossible. I watched her carefully out of the corner of my eye.

The affect from Lissa's appearance was taking a toll on her. Her eyes were glassy and she looked slightly dazed over, but I believed that the dazed over look was her coming off the cocaine high. Her hands were shaking as they moved from her death grip on the arms of the chair to the table. With her hands rested, she placed her head down on the table, effectively obscuring anyone's view from her.

She could have been sleeping, but I knew better. The giveaway signs were the sniffles, and at that point, I knew she was crying. Whatever the history they had, it must have been brutal – Rose appeared to be an incredibly confident woman and it truly seemed like only a few things would break her. This was clearly one of them. I watched her carefully as she tried to control her breathing, but it was becoming impossible for her.

One by one, she was breaking down.

And part of me started dying, because I knew that there was nothing I could do to help her.

* * *

><p><em>Okay, so this is where I say the rest of my AN, since the one at the top was long! (:<em>

_I'm just letting you guys know now that I won't be updating this until I update the rest of my stories. They're kind of behind, and I've got a lot going on in my life right now. And, on top of that, I got such a great response for the first chapter... and an okay response for the second chapter, so that kind of damped my spirits a little. But it's mainly this stress I'm facing. I'm about ready to kill a bitch, I swear to God._

_Hmm. Lissa was introduced... And she and Jill know that they're sisters? What is this madness? Haha. The Rose and Lissa situation will be explained... in the next chapter. Cause, y'know, I like to switch POVs. (:_

_Until next time, my loves! Leave me a review or I split your soul into twenty. Like the Duggars. /bad pun._


	4. Dynamite

_Well, that storm that hit Alaska wasn't as bad as they thought it was going to be. That's good news, though! Good news. :D And wow, you guys are fucking phenomenal. Seriously. Twenty reviews for the last chapter? I'm... I'm speechless. I really am. Thank you so much! Let's aim for something higher now, shall we? Trolol. (;_

_A huge thank you to Nicia, for posting chapter twenty-eight of her story "Life Will Turn Around". OhmyGod, if you haven't read it yet, go read it now. Fo'reals. Seriously, though, her posting of that chapter gave me the motivation to write. I've been... out of it, so to speak, for the past couple of days and haven't done anything... and her chapter gave me muse. THANKS, NICIA. (:_

_Hmmm. Oh. Go check out my new oneshot, 'Never Again'. Okay? Okayy._

_Btduz, I am super fucking excited for Nickelback's new album, which is out Monday. You don't even know. I can't even. Holy shit. And they're playing for Green Bay on Thanksgiving. FUCK YEAH THAT'S MY TEAM RIGHT THERE. Undefeated, bitches. Suck on that cheesehead. :D (Trolol, I also don't give a shit if you don't like Nickelback. Don't bitch about it to me. :)_

_Er, okay, I think that's it._

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four: <strong>**"Dynamite"**

Karma was a real bitch.

I was slowly breaking down and it was killing me. At this point, I couldn't tell if it was me coming down from the high or just nine years of pent up emotions and frustration. If anything, it was probably both, even if I had been using enough to the point where I had built up a tolerance, but it still had an effect on me. I clenched my fist together as I felt the tears start to fall through the corner of my eyes.

I didn't like breaking down; I hated the feeling. It made me feel _weak_ and I was not a weak person. I inhaled a deep, shaky breath in a pathetic attempt to control myself… but it was becoming impossible. Where the hell was Adrian? Right now, I needed Adrian. It was slowly killing me that he had to take that damn call when he knew – he fucking _knew _– that I would need him at this moment.

I kept my head down as I replayed the events in my head. Lissa was _here_; she was working as a god damn district attorney. I could faintly recall Adrian telling me this information, but I brushed it off. Lissa wasn't built to argue people – she was built to lead. Her whole personality had dominated around politics, and in college, she had been a political science major… so what the hell changed her? And why the hell was she a prosecutor, out of all things?

My former best friend had obviously changed, but so had I…. But still, seeing her was the most painful experience I had felt since… since _that _night. My whole body shook as I thought about that night. That memory was forever etched in my mind; no matter what I did, it would never go away. If there was one event that shaped my life, it was that.

As my mind dwelled into the past, I found myself having a hard time breathing. My world was closing in around me and I couldn't see straight. I was about ready to black out when I felt a pair of arms around my body, and at that moment, I knew that Adrian had returned. I released my clenched hands and forced myself to look up at him, but it was painful.

The question was obvious in his eyes, but I shied away. I didn't want to give him an answer; an answer implied weakness, and I was _not _a weak person. Sensing my distress, he merely rolled his eyes before grabbing the notepaper and pen next to us and wrote. This sparked my interest. Normally, Adrian didn't care what the detectives and or officers heard, as he could barely control his mouth. With a small frown on his face, he slid the piece of paper over to me so I could read his note.

_You want to leave? We can leave._

I shrugged and shook my head. No, I was going to stay strong and get through this. Adrian pushed his eyebrows together as he took the paper back and scribbled furiously on it.

_I'm serious, Rose. Leaving wouldn't that be big of deal, since they don't have a charge on you. We could go to that pizza place you like and get food. _

There was a smile on his lips and it was my turn to roll my eyes. I took the paper from him and wrote on the paper, instantly feeling like I was back in middle school with the passing of notes. Though his 'they don't have a charge on you' comment made me laugh. They clearly had a charge on me, but Adrian was going to try his best.

_You're stupid. They have a charge on me and you know it. Stop trying to act like they don't. And I'm fine. Really. I just… it's hard. _

I handed the piece of paper back to him and finally managed to look around the room. The detective – the one named Belikov - was standing in the corner, looking highly uncomfortable at something. It made me nervous to see him looking uncomfortable. Was I the one causing that? I didn't like to think that I was… but in the end, I must have been. I gave him a bright smile and winked at him, to which he responded by clearing his throat and tugging at the end of his shirt collar.

Yup, it was definitely me.

I decided to focus on something else, like his partner … who had suddenly appeared in the room. Huh, I had missed her. I guess she had slid in when Adrian had come back in. Jill looked pissed. It was enough to bring a smirk to my face. I was still obviously pissed at the fact that she was a cop and I didn't realize it, but she was still a decent girl. And she was completely smitten with Adrian, as he was with her. I could only begin to imagine the thoughts running through her pretty little head and they were damn entertaining. Our eyes locked and she glared, but I responded with another bright smile.

It was only when Adrian handed me back the paper did it make sense as to why he was keeping everything so 'hush-hush'. First off, the police could technically use anything I say, regardless of my attorney… And the second reason just made me want smile. When Adrian fell, he fell hard – and he had already fallen hard.

_You love me and you know it. And they do, but it's called a plea bargain – don't you remember anything from your pre-law classes?... But, Rose, I'm serious. Are you okay? _

I glared at him as I snatched the paper again. This was getting a little ridiculous. _I'm FINE, Adrian, so drop the damn subject. If you ever bring it up again, I will fucking gut you like a fish. For the record, I remember – but you're not getting a damn plea bargain out of me. I'm not saying shit. I don't care, I'll go to jail, but you aren't getting me to say shit_.

He barely had enough time to read my note before the door pushed open, and a new face appeared. I sucked in a breath as I looked at her, but let it go as soon as I realized I didn't know her. She was a tiny little thing, with blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She nodded at the two Detectives before taking a seat.

"Normally, this is would be the part where the Detectives talk to your suspect. Given the situation, I don't really feel that that's needed. I don't want to hear your bullshit about how we don't have a case, because we do. She stated a price for engaging in sexual relations, which is the exact definition of prostitution. We also have her under drug possession and use charges." Her blue eyes narrowed at Adrian. "You do the math."

I was doing the math in my head; I was looking at least ten to fifteen years in jail, if I was found guilty or plead guilty. Well, I wasn't pleading guilty and I would just have to work my magic on the jury. I had done it before and I could easily do it again.

The blonde leaned back in her chair. She looked incredibly bored by the whole situation. If I had a best guess, I would say that she was a step up from Lissa, or had been called in from somewhere else, given that I knew that Lissa couldn't work on this case now. "Or there's the option of a plea bargain."

"There's no chance in hell you're getting me to do a plea bargain. Lock me up in Rikers; I don't give a damn. I'm not saying _shit_," I ranted, throwing my hands up in the air in defeat. I heard Adrian hiss my name underneath his breath and I turned to him. "What the hell are you looking at me like that, for? Fuck off, Adrian. I may have asked for you to be present, but that doesn't fucking mean I need you to babysit me. I stand by what I said: they are getting _no _plea bargain because they aren't finding out _shit _about _anything_. Got that?"

Adrian put his right palm to his face and sighed. I smirked as I leaned back in my chair. I had unraveled him to no end. _Good, you deserve it_, I thought bitterly as I looked back between him, the Russian, Jill, and the other lawyer.

"What makes you think that you don't want a plea bargain? We can _help _you, Rose." It was Jailbait who spoke, which made me raise my eyebrows. She was much more fascinating now that she was in her true nature. Back at the club, she had been a little too innocent and a little bit blonde, but I know realized that was all part of her façade.

I pointed my thumb to Adrian. "That's what he said, and he's not getting me any lower charges. You cops are all the same." Adrian was muttering a string of profanities under his breath by this point. "You're all like 'Oh, I can help you! We can make sure you're okay! Nothing bad will happen to you!'" I stated with my best child voice. "Well, fucking newsflash, that's a whole bunch of bullshit. Bad things happen every day. You guys aren't fucking superman, and therefore, you can't help me."

And they couldn't. Why would the cops help me? They were half of the damn reason I was in this fucking life. My breathing was becoming labored as I thought about my past and bit my lip.

"If you'll excuse my client, she has no idea what the hell she's talking about," Adrian directed at me and I rolled my eyes.

"Fuck you, Adrian. I know exactly what I'm talking about. I intended to be a pre-law major, after all." I watched the colour drain from his face as I mentioned college and I smiled. If there was one thing that could shut Adrian up, it was college. It was cruel to do something like that to my best friend, but I needed him to shut up. "I don't care what he says. I'm not doing shit. Lock me up in Rikers. Hell, just shoot me with that beautiful gun of yours. Do whatever you want, I don't care."

There was silence, but I could hear Adrian's mind buzzing next to me. He was trying to think of ways to recover what I had done, but I knew that there was no going back at this point. The blonde raised an eyebrow – something I've always wanted to learn how to do – as she looked at me.

"Okay then. Sorry, Ivashkov – but that's how it is, despite your bond." Her words made my blood run cold. I knew exactly what she was talking about it and it scared the shit out of me. Was… was she going to use that in court? She stood up from her chair. "You guys obviously don't need me here. Lock her up; call central booking. We'll go to trial in a week, maybe two. Court's kind of backed up right now from that sociopath a few weeks ago." And without another word, the female lawyer left.

"So," I began after a few moments of awkward silence and turned my attention to the dark Russian God in the corner of the room. "When are you going to lock me up in that little jail cell, Detective? I'd kind of bummed we didn't get to use handcuffs. They were pinky and fuzzy and all for you," I purred.

The Russian said nothing, but turned to his partner instead. Jill shook her head as moved over by me, grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up. "Christ, sugar, you're _damn _strong. I think you just made Adrian over here jizz his pants." The words rolled off my lips before I could stop them, but I wasn't ashamed. I enjoyed making Adrian uncomfortable, as well as Jill. It had been a habit back at the club, when she had been 'innocent'.

"Please, for the love of God, just shut up for ten minutes."

I went to make another comment, but found myself at a loss for words as my eyes connected with the male Detective. There was a ghost of a smile on his lips, but it never formed. I looked at him with confusion as Jill lead me out of the interrogation room and back into the holding cell. But on the way back, my whole body became stiff as I saw the figure of my former best friend.

She recognized it was me, as well, and I could see the colour drain from her face. Her green eyes were red and puffy, which indicated she had been crying. My heart twisted into a knot and that urge to comfort her overwhelmed me… No, I wasn't going to resort back to our old ways. We were too damaged to that.

"Rose," she began, but I stopped her.

"No. Fuck no. I don't want to hear it. I could really care less, Liss."

I watched her as her eyes widened and mine did too, as soon as I realized what I had said. _Liss_. It was just one of her many nicknames, but the only I used when I was being rather supportive. She sucked in a breath, but she shook her head. The tears were forming in her eyes again and I pushed my brows together. Why was she crying so easily? She didn't cry _that _much… did she?

I was just about to shrug it off when I noticed the small baby bump on her stomach. Suddenly, everything made so much more sense. A twinge of jealously shot through me as I looked at her.; _naturally_, she would have a better life than me. Her lips turned into a soft smile, one I had seen many times before… The major difference was that her eyes were set and stern; she wasn't going to back down.

"Take the plea bargain. If not for yourself, do it for the others." Her eyes were pleading for me to say yes, that I would take the plea bargain… but I couldn't do it. There was just no way in hell.

Jill gripped my arm in an effort to move me forward, and I took that as my queue to leave. I waved at Lissa and gave her my 'I-don't-give-a-fuck' smile. "Nah, I think I'm good. 'Sides, I've not nobody else to do it for. Only me, babe; only me."

"Move your ass, Hathaway. I'd really like to get home and you're preventing me from doing that," Jill said before Lissa could say anything.

"No, you'd really like to get out of here so you and Adrian can go fuck each others brains out. Don't lie to me, Jailbait; I know what you really want to do. I've been told he's a beast in the sack, too. Think you can handle it?" I teased her. Her face ranged from a light pink to a furious red and I saw the anger in her eyes. Oh, it made my heart melt knowing that she was so pissed.

She didn't say anything until we got to the holding cell, where she shoved me in with such force that I was sure I was going to have a bruise. Once she locked the door to the cell, Jill looked me square in the eyes and I had to do a double take. There was anger, yes, but there was more… sympathy, than anything else. Where the hell did that come?

"You know, you were really nice back at the club. Sure, I fucked you over, but you took me under your wing. What the hell happened to that girl?" Jill shrugged, answering her own question. "But I guess that doesn't matter. Girls like you never get over their issues." She paused before she turned around. "And, for the record, I can handle him _just fine_."

I narrowed my eyes at the female. "_Fuck you_. You have _no _idea what you're talking about." And she didn't… Did she? Lissa was her half-sister, after all.

"Do I?"

It was at that moment when I lost all self control.

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><p><em>K, jsyk, Rose and Adrian are not and never will be in a romanatic relationship. Remember that, k? Cool.<em>

_Secondly.. I'm a horrible liar. I wanted to reveal a few things, mainly the issues with Rose and Lissa, but I decided against it. It'll become very vital in the next few chapters. Which, btdubz, is when shit will start to get steamy. Dimitri's POV will be... interesting. ;)_

_And with that being said... Leave a review or I'll ... I'll kill Dimitri. O:_


	5. Resolution

_Well, I really only have a few things to say. One, I'm on polyvore. My username is 'she lives in a daydream'. Let's be friends on polyvore, yes? Two, I'm on tumblr. If you type in 'onemoretrytoalullaby' at tumblr dot com, you will get my tumblr. Needless to say, it's been a year since I've been on tumblr, so I don't have much yet. Three, I'm still on facebook, so add me there. 'Sliad Fanfiction'. (:_

_Also, I posted a new oneshot called 'Lullaby', and I would like you all to check it out. AND, lastly, I still love you all very much. I'm sorry if I haven't replied to your reviews; fanfiction won't let me access them half of the time, and then I forget about them and don't know if I replied to them or not. I'm sorry!_

_... Can't you tell I'm in a rush? Haha. I'm going to go see the Muppets with my family and then going to spend the night at the university with my friend, so I wanted to get this posted before I leave. Okay? Okay._

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><p><em><strong>Chapter Five: <strong>_**"****Resolution"**

I heard her screaming before I actually saw her. It was quite a sight, really. I had been racking my brain in an attempt to get those dirty thoughts out of my head when I walked into the main office of the precinct. In retrospect, I believed that I had been doing a very good job – simply because Rose was out of the room and I didn't have to see her…

She was kicking and screaming, literally. However, she wasn't stupid. I saw her flinch her hands away from Jill, who looked completely un-phased by her actions. I made a mental note to talk with my partner, who was starting to let her personal issues seep into her work life. I rubbed my hands together as I moved past the throng of people, making my way to the holding cell. Rose was becoming entertaining at this point; she was kicking the chair, but it was pointless. It wasn't going to go anywhere.

"I need to talk with you in a minute," I told Jill softly as I approached her. Her expression faltered; she knew what I was talking about. That was her problem; she never realized it was happening until it was too late. Her face went pale as she ran a hand through her hair. I placed a hand on her shoulder. "I told you that I was going to help you. Making you aware of it will help you – I'm not mad, Jill."

She mumbled something under her breath and sighed. "I know, boss. Doesn't help, though." She turned her attention towards the center of the room, where the Chief was talking to someone. "I'm gonna go talk to Chief," she said with a slightly nervous voice. I removed my hand and gave her another soft smile, but it didn't help her in the slightest.

I nodded my head and turned my attention back to Rose, who was still kicking the chair and muttering a string of curse words underneath her breath. It looked like she was calming down, but that changed once I heard a violent snap come from where she was. She cursed loudly and sat down on the bench, her hand wrapped around her ankle. It was at that moment did I realize that the snapping some was her heel; it had snapped.

"Wipe the drool off your face, Comrade. You can look but you can't touch," she stated, but there was a strain in her voice; a hint a pain. I raised an eyebrow at her as she rubbed her now swelling ankle. I sighed as the inner battle began. I didn't _have _to help her, but I wanted to help her … especially in those heels.

Or maybe it was an excuse to touch her skin. Hell, it was probably that, too.

"Kicking the chair won't do you any good, for future reference. It's bolted to the ground," I told her, ignoring her comment as I pulled the keys to the holding cell out of my pocket. Rose grimaced and tried to muster up a 'mean' glare at me, but it didn't work. A small smile played on my lips as she continued to soothe her swelling ankle.

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious. Are you just going to stand there and keep drooling, or are you going to help me?"

I dangled the keys in front of her. "I'm trying to help you, but you're making it increasingly difficult. Do you want your ankle to swell up like there's no tomorrow? You won't be able to walk by tomorrow, which will leave you fairly helpless in Rikers." Her eyes went wide as she thought about this. Apparently, the thought of being weak in Rikers wasn't pleasing – but then again, I doubted it would please anyone. I shoved the key into the hole and turned it to the right, effectively unlocking the door. "You should just be thankful that I keep an ice pack with me on at all times."

Rose snorted as I shut the door behind me, leaving it unlocked. "I'm _burning _with enthusiasm. Why do you carry an ice pack with you, anyways? I didn't really peg you for the clumsy type, y'know, being all Russian mafia and all." She leaned against the bars and crossed her arms against her chest. "And don't think that I don't know what you're doing. I'm not stupid."

I ignored her latter comment as I took a seat next to her. "Lift your foot up." She did as I requested, and I let it rest against my thighs. Oh dear God, her legs felt so _smooth_… "And it's better to be prepared than unprepared. Besides, it's a request from Jill. She falls down a lot in high heels," I snickered, thinking about my partner. It was true; she was getting better, but that still didn't stop the inevitable.

Her eyes narrowed at the mention of my partner. Good to know that they weren't seeing eye to eye. "Don't see why you're even bothering to help her, because she's a raving bitch," she complained as I pulled open the ice pack and broke the thing of water. "Like, Jesus fucking Christ, she's a raving bitch. How do you deal with her? I would have killed her within a day."

I shook my head as I pressed the cold compact against her ankle. I was thankful that we were talking, because if we were in silence… I gulped as I thought about that. Silence would not be a good thing, because it would allow my mind to wander and think about her damn smooth skin… "Trust me when I say she's not like that normally… Although, I believe you saw that side, did you not?"

Rose pursed her lips and I shook my head. "That's your problem; you're letting your vendetta cloud your judgment." She moved her ankle and let out a low moan of pain. I resisted the urge to chuckle. "Don't move. The more you move, the more damage you can do to it."

"No shit, Sherlock." She huffed a sigh and her bangs flew up. "And that is _not _my problem. You don't get it, do you? Of course not! You're a fucking police officer. I know, I know, you were upholding the law and shit, but … but _really_?" Rose was livid pissed, which made me curious. Yes, when we did a bust we had a lot of our suspects become incredibly pissed… but this was different.

This was personal for Rose.

My heart twisted into knots as I realized this. Why was this personal for her? And what the hell did she mean that we didn't do anything, as police officers? My mind was whirling with possibilities. I kept a straight face as I looked at her.

Her beauty was captivating. Her make-up was starting to wear off, revealing a much more natural side of her. Even without her make-up, she still looked gorgeous. She had pulled her hair back into a very sloppy and loose ponytail, and she held a very sleepy look in her eyes. At this point, it was hard to tell if the dazed look was from the loss of her cocaine buzz or if she was truly tired. I had a feeling that it was a combination of both.

"Believe it or not, I _do _know what you're talking about and I know what you're feeling. I'm just better at keeping my shit together and not letting my emotions go all over the place." She snorted again and our eyes locked. "I'm not kidding. Even right now, you're trying to resist my help, although you may not realize it. I'm not going to go around pretending that I know what happened, because I don't… But what I can tell you is that, well, to be quite frank, you need to get over your shit."

I was surprising myself. I was usually more quiet and reserved; Jill was more so of the blunt and in-your-face type of person… But there was just something about Rose that brought out the other side of me. I wanted her to help us, and in return, we help her… but I knew it'd be impossible to help her if we didn't break through that thick skull of hers.

I readjusted the ice pack on her ankle. I didn't have to be looking at her to know that she was sending me a death glare. _If looks could kill… _"Don't look at me like that; you know that it's true. Jill as right earlier; we _can _help you, whether you believe it or not. I don't know what happened in your past, and to be honest, I don't really care." That was a lie; I _really _wanted to know what happened in her past… "But you need to get the fuck over it."

"So you're pushing for me to take a plea bargain, too? Fucking great. Why can't any of you see the damn picture? I'm not taking the fucking plea bargain! I. Don't. Care." She adjusted her position again and moved her ankle off my leg and onto the floor. "Son of a bitch," she moaned as she closed her eyes. "Why can't you guys just get it through your thick skulls that I'm not taking the plea bargain? Maybe you should stop eating those doughnuts; the sugar is clearing rotting your brain cells."

It was my turn to snort. "Yes, because all cops eat doughnuts," I replied with heavy sarcasm. There were only two people I could think of whom constantly ate doughnuts, and those two people were Eddie and Mason. However, they did it purely for the sake of entertainment and keeping up with the typical police officer stereotype. "And I won't use the term 'pushing'; I would merely say… trying to get you to consider other options. Or rather, think about it before you say no."

"Don't need to think about it, sug." Her words were laced with venom, and for a second, I was scared of what Rose was capable of.

I stood up from my current seat and left the ice pack on the bench. "Are you sure about that? You certainly don't act like it. You really should think before you jump into rash decisions, especially ones that affect the rest of your life. Adrian may have been able to get you off on your last two charges, but not this time." Again with the lying.

By this point, I was standing on the outside of the holding cell. I slammed the door into place with a little bit more force than required, and locked the door. "You're not going anywhere. So, if I were you, I'd sit here and truly consider my options instead of jumping to irrational conclusions with negative consequences."

With that being said, I turned around and didn't look back. At this point, I knew that I couldn't look back, because if I did, I would start talking to her again. I wanted Rose to think, and agree to, the plea bargain on her own terms, not with someone forcing her. If she was forced, she would back out the situation right when we needed her… And that was not what we needed.

I made my way over to my desk, and I was suddenly very thankful that it faced the opposite direction to the holding cell. With a sigh, I pulled my gun out of my holster and put it on my desk; I wouldn't need it tonight, unless I got called into a case, which was very unlucky. Actually, I took that back – it was very likely, but it was a matter of who responded first. Sydney and Eddie had been aching for a chance to get back out on the field, and I wasn't going to stop them.

My computer blinked, signaling that I had an email, but I didn't bother to check it. I knew that it was from my mama; she worried about me a little too much. I took a seat in my chair and decided it would be the best time to start writing the report, given that I knew it would take a little bit longer than most reports. I pulled out the paper and wrote the basic information, but after that, I stopped. For some reason, I couldn't write the damn report.

I heard a long, drawn out sigh, and I looked up, only to find my partner sitting down in her desk. She was wearing a frantic look and her face was slightly flushed. I raised an eyebrow at her and the blush deepened even further. I smirked as I realized why she was so flushed and leaned back in my chair. Her eyes narrowed at me, but she didn't scare me.

"You couldn't be any more obvious. Did you clean up the lipstick off Adrian's mouth?" She muttered something underneath her breath and it oddly sounded like 'stupid, annoying, god damn nosy Russian'. "On a more serious note…"

She held up her hand. "I know. I know it happened. I didn't realize it until after, though. I'm… I'm sorry," Jill stumbled, in a very hasty attempt to change the topic. She ran her fingers through her hair in a sign of frustration. "The transition's still hard, too…"

I nodded in agreement. A transfer from a whole different state _was_ hard. I was a transfer out of Montana; she was a transfer out of Houston. The major difference between the two of us was that I transferred while I was still a police officer, and she transferred very shortly after becoming a detective in Houston.

"I told you that I'm not mad. I'm just trying to make you more aware of it; the more aware of it you are, the easier it becomes to stop it before it happens." At least, from my personal experience, this was true. Or rather, that was my grandmother had told me – and I believed her. My grandma had an eerie sense of what was right and what was wrong.

Jill nodded her head in a stiff manner, but I could see the regret in her eyes. Instead of dwelling on the topic, I just smiled and pushed the unfinished report farther back. "You want to write this report?" My partner made a face and I laughed. "That's what I thought. Always leaving me to do the dirty work; I see how it is."

"You're the one who offered. Not my problem, boss. Besides, Chief wants to do a debriefing in a few minutes, and she told me that I'm first." She twirled a strand of her hair into a small curl. "I don't know why she won't debrief us together, but whatever." Jill leaned back in her chair and pulled out her gun from her holster and threw it on her desk. "This gun is a piece of shit. It's locking up again. I swear to God, it's like twenty-years old."

I snorted. "It's like five years old. You probably have something frozen on the inside of it. Didn't you get it wet a few days ago?" I knew the answer to that was yes, that she had gotten it wet a few days ago, when someone had knocked it out of her hand and it had fallen into a slightly deep puddle.

My partner opened her mouth to say something, but was beat by the Chief calling her name. She stood up from her chair and gave me an army salute before heading off into the Chief's office. It would probably be awhile before I was debriefed, given that Jill had to deal with a lot of internal affair paperwork, just to make sure that she was following proper protocol.

Since I had to stay until I was done with my debriefing with the Chief, I decided to mess around on my computer. I responded to emails from my family, organized the desktop, cleaned up my actual desk, and started playing a game on my computer. I was fifteen minutes into the game when I heard someone call out my name.

"Comrade! I have a proposition for you."

I turned around in my chair and turned my attention to Rose, who was still sitting in the cell. How long had it been since I had talked to her? It had been at least an hour, if that. I raised an eyebrow as I stood up from my chair, and moved into a chair that was closer to the holding cell. She didn't even give me time to answer before she spoke again.

"Tell me your real name, and I'll tell you something worth your while."

I kept my eyebrow raised as I studied her. From her body language, I could tell that she wasn't lying… but it was something else, too. I could just read her like an open book, and I knew, I _knew_ that she wasn't lying. That thought unnerved me and had my stomach in knots.

"Dimitri. I believe you already know my last name, thanks to Ashford." I leaned back in my chair as her lips twitched up into a small smile.

"Well, Dimitri, I believe I'd like to take that plea bargain."

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><p><em>Oh snap, good thinking Rose. (:<em>

_Review solely for the sake that you love me. And that I'm amazing. That too. (:_


	6. Save Me

_Um, hi?_

_So I guess I have a lot to say, so I apologize for this insanely long AN. But I owe you guys an apology. Right around the last time I updated, I was transitioning from fanfiction writing into roleplaying, which for those of you who have never done that, it's basically interactive fiction and it's great. On top of that, I was dealing with my senior year of high school. That didn't go as planned - I was bullied out of my high school in the beginning of March, switched to online classes, and everything was terrible. I could barely focus on writing in general and the muse was sucked out of me._

_I graduated and moved to Anchorage and if I had to guess, that's when my depression started to get worse. I was alone in my aunts house with my cat, no job, no source of income, and nothing to do with my life. I was a wreck. College started in August and things progressively started to get better - I was around new people, I was making friends, and I was keeping myself busy. It wasn't until the second semester did things become really bad. Long story short? Lost my virginity and got fucked over by the guy I lost it too. If you're ever thinking about doing no strings attached with anyone, my advice is NEVER do it, especially when it's with your virginity. But it was a choice I made - and sadly, it really fucked me over. It started the snowball with my depression and it was bad. I was suicidal, relasping every other week, could not focus on school, was bawling my eyes out, and wasn't able to do anything._

_To some extent, I still feel that way. Slowly but surely, with the help of finding a decent friend, getting rid of the bad ones from my life, therapy, and anti-depressants, I've been getting my life back on track. It wasn't until recently did I get a review for this story did I even think about this account. But the review was what got my ass in gear, and here I am, with a real update. Not a note; a real update._

_It's short, but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things - so please be patient with me. It's been well over a year since I've written anything for fanfiction, let alone Vampire Academy. My mood and muse are still all over the place. On top of that, school is kicking my ass and I'll be out at the end of April, so things updates will be probably somewhat rare until the end of April, but I'll try my best._

_So yeah, hi? I'm alive and I'm sorry I was a fail author but here's a chapter to make things better? Maybe?_

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><p><strong>Chapter Six: "Save Me"<strong>

We didn't have to speak; our actions spoke louder than words. I heard the door slam shut behind me and I couldn't help but wince. I was expecting anger, and perhaps it was slightly naïve of me, but I hadn't been expecting _this_ much anger.

"What the _fuck _was that?" Adrian asked, shrugging out of his coat as I followed the suit.

"So you wait to ask me until we're all cozy in your apartment. How cute," I responded, evading his question. That only earned a glare in my direction and I snorted. "It was a plea bargain. It's what you wanted me to do, isn't it? Save my ass? Plea bargains are always better than a felony charge, or so you've told me."

He sighed, his body language saying everything. I could see it in his rigid posture and the tensing of his muscles. It was just so obvious that he had given up; and in all honesty, just like I wanted him to do. I didn't want him to press this issue anymore; he shouldn't _have _to press this issue anymore. Not for my sakes.

"You already know how I feel about this," Adrian finally spoke after many moments of silence.

It was enough to make my blood run cold. Yes, I was very well aware of how he felt about me, how he felt about the situation. Out of all the people I had run from in my past, Adrian was the one I kept on coming back too. At this point, he was the only one who knew _everything _and it was dangerous. I clenched my fist lightly as I tossed myself down on the couch, propping my feet up.

"Never stopped me before," I quipped back, running a hand through my hair in an effort to detangle it. It was no use; my hair was chalked up with hairspray and other products I couldn't recall. It was the price of being beautiful, that's what I told myself. There was a scuffle in the kitchen and within moments I finally saw Adrian's familiar frame, two glasses of wine in his hand.

"Oh _honey_," I said as I reached out, grabbing the wine, instantly thankful to have him in my life. "You know me so well."

"I know your addictions; not sure if I know you all that well anymore."

I had to give Adrian that one. It had been a good sixth months since I had seen him, at least in a setting where we actually talked for more than an hour, and things had drastically changed within these past six months. I merely shrugged, taking a sip of my wine as he sat down next to me, his eyes watching me carefully.

"Not sure if I know myself that well anymore, sugar," I said. It scared me as to how open and honest I could be with Adrian. But in more ways than one, it was actually incredibly relieving. For so long, I had been running – running far away from the situations I found myself in. And with Adrian, I could find myself in a stable place; a place I hadn't been in for years.

Adrian took a sip of his wine, his eyes never leaving mine. "I'm glad you took the plea bargain. I really am; it's just frustrating when you make such a big deal about _not _taking a plea bargain and that's exactly what you do. You're stubborn as fuck and you don't change your mind. So, I repeat, _what the hell happened?_"

What had happened? That was a great question – one that I had the answer too and one that Adrian was not going to get a response too. The answer to that was easy and honestly, it probably didn't take a genius to figure it out. A five-year-old could have put two and two together.

The answer to his question involved a gorgeous Russian detective who appeared to have a fantastic way with words.

Countless of people had told me a paraphrase of those exact same words. _We're here to help. It's for the best. It's going to be okay. We can protect you. I just want you to get better_. Most of the time, I had shrugged them off. As far as I was concerned, they were just spewing bullshit and they had no idea as to what they were talking about.

_You need to get over your shit_.

His words stung. I could hear the sternness in his voice and see the softness in his eyes. He was right – I did need to grow up and get over it. But it still didn't change the fact that the whole situation was so emotionally damaging, so emotionally traumatizing, that there was only so much I _could_ do. My walls were up and I didn't care anymore.

I was too hurt to care.

"You're thinking too much and it scares me," Adrian chuckled, running a hand up and down my back in an attempt to console me. "Can't really hide your thoughts from me, try as hard as you might. I'm a great mind reader. It's required for my job, you know," he teased, clinking his wine glass against mine.

I blinked in a pathetic attempt to regain control of my thoughts, but it was too late. They were long gone, off in a distance land called Narnia. I was also sure that part of it was just me coming down from the high, as well. It was sad and quite pathetic how different and how much shitter my life was when I wasn't high in some variation. I could easily feel the withdrawl symptoms coming through and good God, it had only been a couple of hours. I needed help and I refused to get help.

"Don't really want to get raped in jail, you know? Rikers is pretty brutal." Well, it wasn't exactly a lie.

It did, however, earn a snort from my best friend. "You wouldn't let that happen to you and you know it. You'd kick ass before that happened."

That was right. If anyone even looked at me wrong in Riker's I would have ended them; plain and simple. While I was sure that I could very easily handle myself in Rikers, that didn't change the fact that I didn't _want _to go. Despite the tough demeanor I had put up at the station, Adrian and I both knew that it was just an act. It was one of the nice things about the relationship I shared with Adrian – I could at least calm down around him. I pulled my legs up towards my body, taking another sip of my wine. At least the wine was enough to calm me down after coming down from the high.

"Doesn't really matter anymore. What's done is done and there's nothing you can do about it," I snapped, already wishing he would drop the subject. "You're the one who pushed and pushed for the god damn thing, so just _stop_." I could feel my walls starting to creep up, part of a subconscious effort. I didn't want to talk about the subject anymore, because what was I supposed to say? That the big, yet incredibly sexy, Russian had somehow changed my mind? Because I was so intrigued by him, and against all odds, I actually felt _safe_?

That was chimerical.

"Snippy, snippy."

Rolling my eyes, I stood up from the couch, my wine never leaving my grasp. "Says the one who just bitched at me as soon as we walked into your apartment." And with that, I turned on my heels and made my way back into the spare bedroom, sitting my wine down carefully on the bedside table.

It was at that point that I could start to feel everything inside me shattering into a million pieces. My vision was becoming blurry and it took everything I had in me not to cry. I had already cried once at the station and even then, that had been an accident. It had been me reaching a breaking point with Lissa and it was something I had _never _wanted to do.

_Lissa_.

Just hearing her name made me pause. Did it really have to be Lissa who was the ADA for the unit? And since when did Lissa become a lawyer? That didn't seem fitting to her personality – or so I thought. I had always been under the impression that she wanted to be a nurse, not a lawyer. Things changed, I guess. Not like I was in the right position to say a damn thing, because I was the sheer epitome of change.

But once the Lissa train started, it couldn't be stopped. All I could think about was my former best friend, her stupid boyfriend Christian, and the looks on their faces when I told them what was going on. Everything was so vivid; the crease of Lissa's brows as she put pieces together, trying to process things, the way that Christian would shrug everything off so nonchalantly, especially when it didn't appear to affect him and Lissa directly. The look of sheer horror when I finally told them, the disbelief in their voices. . .

Gulping, I flopped myself down onto the bed in a desperate attempt to rid myself of those flashbacks. But it was like no matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of those thoughts. It was apparent that it was just going to be one of those nights, were all I could see was me relieving my past. I was going to be lucky if I slept – and honestly, I needed that sleep. But that sleep wouldn't come.

In the background, I heard my phone buzzing – I knew exactly who it was without even having to look. God, now I was going to have to deal with the consequences of talking to him tomorrow. He was going to be _livid _pissed and it wasn't going to be any fun. My body already hurt from just the thought of what he'd do. Surely, a black eye was on the list of damages. It was just . . . It was going to be incredibly brutal tomorrow. That much I knew.

God, how could I have been so stupid?

It was clear that history appeared to be repeating itself.

_Worthless. You're worthless, stupid, and a fucking liar. You don't deserve a single thing. Fucking pathetic._

With the tears starting to creep up in the corner of my eyes, I shoved my face into the pillow.

Maybe if I was lucky, it'd suffocate me.

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><p><em>It's a filler. Things will be a lot better next chapter with Dimitri's POV, but yeah. Sorry for the filler, but it's needed. xD It's mainly supposed to be focusing on how Rose really feels. She's a very broken girl who feels like she can't escape - for reasons that will slowly show throughout the story. You won't find out everything at once; it'll be little things here and there. Remember, my chapter stories go on at least 20 chapters. This is nowhere near done yet. I have way too much I want to do. So again, I apologize for basically disappearing from the internet, but I'm backish now until the end of April when I should be back pretty regularly. (:<em>

_Review? Maybe? If you don't, man, I understand. I did disappear. xD_


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